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| Tiwa Savage Giving an exclusive interview On Pulse TV |
There have
always been Social media rumors that Tiwa Savage's marriage to Tunji
Balogun was suffering but, without evidence, I never believed until I
watched the video yesterday and when I got to the point where she broke
down, I also broke down. It was really touchy and I've
always
known this one thing; That TRANSPARENCY is very important in
relationships whether marriage or other relationships with people. It's
very important for a spouse to be an open book, to be honest, because,
HONESTY is the best policy. When couples begin to hide things from each
other, there is problem. Collecting payment for shows and making his
wife think that no money was paid? That was a mistake. If as the manager
he wasn't ok with the 60:40 arrangement, he should have had a
discussion and maybe tried to convince his wife to increase his
managerial fee.
Not many
marriages can survive the stress of mixing business and marriage. It's
hard. Even having a joint account alone is enough to end some marriages
not to talk of having just one source of income being split by husband
and wife. It's not easy, that's why when I look at celebrities like
Tunde and Wunmi Obe, I ask myself "How do they do it? For all these
years of being in showbiz together, doing business together without
scandal . The Lord is their strength.
Tiwa saw
the signs at the beginning of their relationship but ignored until... in
marriage they became too obvious to ignore. Never ignore these things.
You see,they say love is blind but, marriage is an eye opener. In
marriage, you won't be able to ignore these things anymore and always
always remember that people hardly change. This saying by one of my
favourite authors has always been in my head...
"The first time people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM"
Maya Angelou.
A lot of
people go into marriage with the intention of using the other person to
their advantage and that is wrong. Marriage is not a kind of business
venture or something.
Marriage is
hard work and no two marriages are the same. In reality, some marriages
are more peaceful, more loving and more grounded that others. While
some marriages do not need much work to succeed, others need so much of
dry fasting, stooping to conquer and tons of patience. Study your own
marriage and either enjoy it or carry your cross and continue to hope
for the best.
What man
would expect a wife like Tiwa Savage to daily cook his meals? Yes, she
should make his meals from time to time but not daily abeg. Where is the
time? If one can afford it, I see nothing wrong with hiring a chef. If I
had a schedule like hers, I'd definitely hire a chef for my family. A
lot of people are successfully doing it and I pray that more African
husbands will begin to understand that cooking for your husband everyday
is not the most important aspect of marriage. I know one or two African
men who serve their wives breakfast in bed sometimes and, you don't
know how special that little gesture can make a woman feel. Always,
expecting the woman to do everything all the time with her hands while
still managing a career can be so stressful.
There is
just something about our husbands expecting us in a way to just be like
our mothers, in this 21st century? Yes, I remember how difficult it was
for my own "Oyibo" husband to just accept that I use a washing machine
for our children's clothes. It took me so long I had to bring it home
unannounced and he couldn't just do anything about it.Then I had 3 kids,
was working outside home and going through so much stress. Saturdays
that are meant for rest and family, I spent washing baskets of dirty
laundry. Getting house helps in Abuja wasn't easy and every chore was on
me.
I was
shocked when my husband initially resisted me getting a washing machine,
stressing that as a mom, it's my responsibility to wash my kids clothes
like an African mother. I tried my possible best until one day he came
home to a waiting washing machine and honestly, that machine made me a
better wife because it reduced my stress and anger levels. Although
later he realized that it made me less stressed up and happier, he then
got a bigger one for us. My point is that initially, why would he
insist that as a proper African mom, I
ought to enjoy hand washing my children's cloth even when we couldn't
find a help (The dry cleaner did his and some of mine, but still the
kids laundry was so much by weekend). So, what can I say? our Naija
husbands should please realize that change is what we are in oh, after
all they voted for "change" and we accepted.. If a wife is extremely
busy and can afford a good cook for the family, please let her!
Yes. I
broke down with Tiwa Savage but come to think of it ... IF everything
she said in that video is the truth, why would he then be suicidal?
EMAIL ME. - rachele20022002@yahoo.com.
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